Oh Dear

I haven't sprinted in like, 8 years. I havent' really truly played soccer, like really trying, in about the same amount of years. But when Kaitlyn (bright-eyed blond from Indiana with a cheery and innocent smile – 19 yrs old, teaching English here for the year) asked me if I wanted to play with her and "the boys" as they do each and every Tuesday at 5pm, I said, "Sure!" thinking, "oh that will be fun to run around with the house boys and a soccer ball this evening." What I did not expect and what cherubic Kaitlyn innocently neglected to mention, was to show up at the filed and see very athletic adult men – teachers from the school – and a select number of the 10th-12th grade boys warming up for their weekly testosterone fest. And these guys were good. And thank God they are Ethiopian and not American or Brazilian or Italian, because they welcomed me with a smile and never yelled at me, though it was warranted. Oh dear Lord. Instantly I was intimidated,but I couldn't back out. Once I showed up they expected the ferange (white) woman to play. Did I mention I haven't seriously played soccer in close to a decade? I did like 2 decent things, got worked several times, and thinking it would be a good idea for me to be tucked away in the goal rather than embarrass myself or my team any further in the field, I enthusiastically volunteered for the 2nd half of the game to play keeper. Bad idea. If my dad had been there, he would have stood on the sideline, dutifully, like in the late nineties, as was his custom. And he would have dropped his face into his right hand with his left crossing his chest, and shook his head when he saw me, THE GOALIE, wince and close my eyes when this guy had a breakaway and took his shot. I mean his team was overjoyed with their goal. I felt pretty bad as I watched one teammate pay his penance of like 30 sit ups – I gathered he punishes himself when his team gives up a goal. Gah! All I w! antedwas to get out of there even though my sweet Ethiopian teammates flashed a smile or two in my direction. Thank God like 3 minutes later it started pouring and I was saved! Game over. I will not be returning to the soccer field next Tuesday at 5pm.