"Go get 'em Honey! See ya in six!"

November 2012 was interesting.  A little bit pensive.  Our home experienced an undercurrent of "it's coming" in a way that felt heavy and apprehensive.  This resulted in lots of car tears.  You know, the tears that you've saved up to spend while your loved ones are elsewhere, but fellow commuters glimpse your smeared mascara and misshapen face in their rear view mirrors.  (It is in these moments that I always think, "Thank God no one can hear the oddball whimpering and gutteral throat sounds I'm making right now.")

All month we knew that Jon would leave for his first deployment the week after Thanksgiving.  

I knew this would be the first Thanksgiving I'd spend away from family.  The first Thanksgiving dinner I'd be responsible to host.  Thank you, Blue Fish, by the way for a lovely $28/pp Thanksgiving buffet.  Rave reviews all around.

It's interesting though, reflecting on this November, because when the thick emotional undercurrent rose to the surface, the call of military wife duty rang loud and clear.  This is the (perhaps false and self-imposed) pressure to smile if one feels otherwise, remember the good, and keep it together so that one's husband doesn't implode beneath the anvil of guilt threatening his spirits.  He knows he is leaving you 3 weeks before Christmas and won't return until June.  And he is a good man with a tender heart.

"It's 3:58am and I'm happy to be here."

Jon left this morning.  I am sad.  I am proud of him; for over two years he's trained for this moment.  Jon carries a strong desire for justice deep in his bones.  I respect him for this.  Also it makes me crazy.  For instance: while he is driving.  None honk their horn with more frequency or conviction.  Trust me.  But I am grateful for this man, for his yearning to make things right, to protect, to serve, to do his part.  And I am praying to join him in this conviction willingly.  To offer him up with open hands, standing with him shoulder to shoulder in heart and attitude.  I am grateful for this last week with him: intentionally building free time together, quickly forgetting the small things that can irritate.  Lots of laughter, honest talk, and shared purpose.

Just before Jon boarded he said goodbye to both of us. (Me and the huge zit on my chin)

 He is my 'other' and I am thrilled to walk life with him.  Walking life with him means walking a good bit of life with him in spirit rather than person.  'Military Wife' just about topped my list of "Things I Never Want to Be" for yeeeears.
That was before I met Jon.  Hilarious.  Life unfolds unexpectedly, and I find myself in circumstances I did not anticipate.  And I am OK here.  God acts in wisdom (and a good deal of mirth, I do believe).
And I trust Him.  And I am grateful.

"Go get 'em Honey!  See ya in six!"